GOOD WILL, GOOD SENSE, GOOD RESULT (quoted from Narumi Sensee, 2005)

I met a professor from Korea the other day, our pastor in central Church in Korea came here. I asked him bout many things and his answers somewhat matched my imaginative plan about my future. As you might still remember I wanted to go to Japan to do research in Japan, in Korea, and in China as well. Pastor Johny invites me to come to Korea for a month-training season every year of my vacation. And, it is not all, my leader, Sam, also advised me to come to China to visit their missionary friends and learn some from them. Whew! What a schedule. Not mentioned the pressure of my school work later, the fee I should provide for the trip, and the mental preparedness for the Bible training every year. In the future, they want me to be a missionary in my own country....and I, in some sense, want it, too. Instead of working as missionary in other country, I'd prefer here. So, actually many works to do, and it needs commitment. I wish I can make time to travel to Europe during my stay in Japan to see the beautiful constructions on water in Vienna or visit the car factory in German (audi, BMW, or Benz). How much should I save for the travel? How long shall I work to make it? Seems unrealistic now...so hoping someone just give me the money or the ride or the ticket flight, hehehe.

How to Save Your Relationship Without Losing Your Dignity

By Stacie Diane My name is Stacie and I am a single mom of 3 boys, 15, 12 & 6. I was a stay-at-home mom for over 13 ... ... Saving a relationship can be hard work. If you are wondering how to save your relationship but feel that it is important to do so without sacrificing your dignity in the process then you should be glad to know that this is very possible. In fact, you are far more likely to save your relationship if you avoid sacrificing your dignity than if you leave your dignity by the roadside somewhere. Your partner wants you to be strong and independent just as much as he or she wants you to need him or her. If you feel that your partner is slipping away and want to know how to save your relationship it is better to begin the process sooner rather than later. The following advice will help you assess the situation and get your relationship back on track. 1. View things from a rational and logical point of view. Examine your relationship as though you were seeing it from the outside rather than a part of the relationship. This allows you to be calm and actually sift through the emotions to see both sides of the issue. It is rarely the work (or lack thereof) of one partner alone that ultimately leads to the end of a relationship but rather the lack of effort or the wrong efforts by both parties. Be calm, be rational, and be firm in your efforts to save your relationship but avoid saying things out of the emotion of the moment that can't be taken back. 2. Identify the problems. It is very important that you work together to find out where the problems in your relationship lie. It very well could be small misunderstandings or the way you word things when you talk to one another. It could also be the old "Mars and Venus" instance of "he said and she heard". Whatever the problem you need to be able to get to the source and stop fretting through the symptoms. Once you address the source of your problems you will find that the symptoms all but disappear. 3. You must both be prepared to work. A relationship worth having is a relationship worth fighting for. Unfortunately, it is much more difficult to fight for a relationship if only one person is doing the fighting. To achieve the greatest success you need to both be committed to making your relationship work. 4. Be patient. Patience is the key to making any relationship work whether it's on a rocky path or walking the straight and narrow. You must be patient, work together, and cultivate your relationship in order to experience the amazing results a healthy relationship can bring. When it comes to how to save a relationship there is no guide that can save every relationship every time. But, if you follow the advice above you will find that your efforts are far more likely to pay off than if you just let things go and hope for the best - which is unfortunately what many couples do.

Relationships: The Five Right and Five Wrong Reasons to Consider Getting Married

By Gary Stern

Too many people get married for the wrong reasons. That may help explain why 43 percent of all marriages in the U.S. fall apart. Divorce360 asked three leading marital experts for the top five right reasons and top five wrong reasons to get married. Heres what they said:

WRONG REASON NUMBER 1:

Sexual attraction may not last forever.

Too many people confuse sexual attraction with love and that can lead to a short-lived marriage, explains Michele Weiner Davis, a Boulder, Colorado-based therapist and author of "The Sex-Starved Marriage" and "The Sex-Starved Wife" (published in January 2008). The novelty of being with someone will turn on anyone, she says. When the sexual attraction wanes, if theres no mutual trust and a joint view of the future, the marriage fades as well. Her advice is clear: sexual attraction between two people is a good thing and energizes the marriage. But if the foundation isnt based on strong communication and shared values, the chances of a long-lasting marriage based solely on animal attraction arent good.

RIGHT REASON NUMBER 1:

Working out differences.

Research indicates that one common theme among long-lasting marriages involves an ability to work out conflict. All relationships have conflicts, Davis says. The couples that can talk out their differences, surmount the conflict, and agree on a compromise last. The partners that trigger anger and resentment in one another or are unable to talk about their differences often cant sustain marriage.

WRONG REASON NUMBER 2:

Escaping the family.

Many single people feel stuck living at home. When a potential mate appears, they often leap at the opportunity to extricate themselves from their parents home and get engaged. Often it doesnt matter to them if their potential mate is a good match because of their need to separate from their parents. There are many ways to escape a family. Making a lifelong commitment with someone who isnt a worthy partner isnt the best choice, Davis notes.

RIGHT REASON NUMBER 2:

Sharing common interests.

If married couples share common interests, it engenders closeness and mutual experiences. Experts say that couples don't have to share all common interests, but having enough of them encourages spending time together, a key ingredient to a successful marriage. Those commonalities can be as varied as spending time with their children, loving travel, following sports, as long as they both appreciate something together, Davis says.

WRONG REASON NUMBER 3:

The infatuation syndrome.

Too many people confuse infatuation with love, suggests Barbara Bartlein, author of "Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Overcoming the Myths that Hinder a Happy Marriage." Infatuation is defined as a fleeting feeling for someone whereas love is long lasting and is based on trust and commitment. Infatuation is instantaneous and some experts suggest can be hormonal, Bartlein states. Love has patience whereas infatuation has a sense of urgency and often that urgency fades. When marriages are based on infatuation, When the zing is gone, they assume they married the wrong person and go looking again, she adds.

RIGHT REASON NUMBER 3:

Focus on what you need.

Too many people get married for what they want instead of what they need, Bartlein says. For example, Bartlein herself reads many novels and would love to discuss fiction with her husband, except this genre doesnt interest him. Nonetheless, they have a solid marriage because she needs someone who is reliable, trustworthy, works hard. Marrying someone who meets her needs has enabled this marriage to last.

WRONG REASON NUMBER 4:

Ignoring the signs of trouble.

If your mate easily gets angry with you and frequently loses control, it can be a telltale sign that problems in the marriage are right around the corner. But many people ignore the signs. They see signs of troubled behavior but think it will get better when they get married, Bartlein says.Often if this irascible or abusive behavior occurs in the engagement period, it will only get worse after marriage, unless the person is in counseling or therapy. Some people think they will fix it after they get married. Anything that is mildly annoying will be extremely annoying after you say I do, she says.

RIGHT REASON NUMBER 4:

Talk about the future

Talking about a couples expectations of the future is one of the surest ways of making sure youre both on the same page and share common values that can sustain a marriage, Davis says. Many couples dont talk about whether they want to have kids, where they're going to live, whether they'll be a one or two career household. Some people think things will work out magically when they get married, but that wont happen, she notes. The more you discuss your common visions for the future, the greater the chances the marriage will last.

WRONG REASON NUMBER 5:

Keeping your blinders on.

Falling in love, too many people get blinded and don't really get to know their mate, asserts Terri L. Orbuch, who runs the weekly Love Doctor call-in show at FOX-TV in Detroit and also serves as director of the Early Years of Marriage Project at the University of Michigan. What really keeps people together is their friendship, intimacy and support, Orbuch says. If you ask yourself, If I lost my job or had a medical scare, whom would I go to for support, that answer might reveal the real love of your life.

RIGHT REASON NUMBER 5:

Making your partner feel special.

One factor in successful marriages is making your partner feel special and worthy, particularly for men, Orbuch says. Because the friendships men establish often dont have the depth of womens relationships, men depend more on their spouse to feel special. When women say, I love you, you make my life exciting, or make their mate their favorite dessert, it goes a long way to affirming their mate and contributing to a happy marriage, she says.

BLESSING FROM SONGS

Sunday, 14 September 2008, I served at my Church as song leader. We sang: - Breathe (fellowship's version) - As We Gather (fellowship's version) - Give and It Will Come Back to You (Ron Kenolly's version) - With All I Am (Nikita's version) - At The Cross (Hillsongs' version) - Breathe (repeated) Dede and I had a practice only few hours on the day before, after the seminar by Pastor Johny Chun, but the praise & worship time pleased almost everyone. Pastor Johny uttered his compliment right away after we finished the service, and so did Mira. Lina was pleased and showing her smiling face over my service. Clarissa sent her compliment and good impression for especially few words later on in the evening:

Oh Lord, You've searched me, You know my way. Even when I fail You, I know You love me.

No matter what, I shall not feel out of love since God's love does not depend on my condition of whether I succeed Him or fail Him. He loves me and Jesus had died on the cross for me, and there is no greater love than this. The seminar was so amazing, it's about the well-known topic, the tentmaker, based on the most famous apostle's epistle, Paul. The letter mentioned about the hard work Paul did while he's serving the everywhere he went. Some verses mention that when he rented a house for two years, he welcomed those who visited him and shared with them the gospel. This is the basic idea of being a tent maker. as a professional, we are doing the ministry of God as well by using the most of every opportunity to share the gospel and tell the truth. Pastor Johny is concerned with young people and always emphasizing us to spend time or he'd rather say invest time with young people. He has a very broad view about the future and he encouraged us to have a right goal for our lives. I had enough enlightenment for my future plan as I believe that God's in control over my life when I committed my life to God. No worry for any thing when I trust in God. Pict taken at Pizza Hut, Tugu, Yogyakarta, 6 Sept 2008, though not representative to the story above, the same personality of me is what I want to show here ;)

MAGGOT IN THE SOUP

Just today, when my Filipino's friend and I had a lunch at Economics Faculty--yes, it is in UGM--I went through unpleasant thing. We ordered food, soto and bakso, with drinks and some cookies. Suddenly, I noticed some maggots floating in the soup. I was so certain since I smelled rotten flour of the noodle. I put it aside in the tray, and decided to continue eating when I found still another maggot, so I just became frowned and stopped eating. What is going on here? Disgusting! I was not bothered much of the rotten smell more than seeing some maggots floating in my soup, what more will I find inside the noodle? Yucky! I DONT eat maggot, sure thing!

Seeing me, my friend helped me telling the cafeteria lady, but as everyone might think, she refused to admit that IT IS maggot. She insisted that it was only the spices, not more than spices or something else that's not harmful, so NO WORRY! Really? Is there nothing to worry? I doubt it, so I approached her and told her I cook a lot so I KNOW very well that it is maggot from the rotten flour of the noodle, the stink reassured me. She explained in quivering voice that for 10 years she's been selling the food there, and never found such a case. Without any further confrontation, I just asked her to replace my bakso and remove the noddle. That is it! Why did she feel threatened by me? I just wanna eat bakso without maggot in it. All she needed to do was serving me with new portion of bakso without noodle, where the maggots came. Not trying to say "Dont eat at Economics cafeteria", just be careful, it can happen anywhere anytime.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this In mind if you are one of those grouches;)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and Lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares? But do share this with someone.

MY BIRTHDAY AT PIZZA HUT...!

WHEW! Got so many excited moments during past year gave me so much encouragement. I am loved! I am loved! This much, that much, so much I could not finish thinking about it forever...!!!!

This time we celebrated THREE folks' birthday: SriWid, Ipoet, and ME. Don't expect too much...but you'll got everything! What confusing words...hehe! It means I did not expect much just to enjoy the meal and whatever we were able to pay for all 8 folks together...but I got more than that!

My beloved sister prepared a surprise for me: a lovely birthday cake with singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY' candle. All was prepared during the time before we started to eat...we sat on the red room...I'd rather call it MUSHROOM, for the word written on the wall along with OREGANO, GARLIC, etc... hehe.

Photo taken at Pizza Hut, Tugu, Yogyakarta, 6 Sept 2008.